My husband is the cutest.

I had a craving for ice cream last night, and Mr. Malaprop ran right out to the store to get me some. He came back, darted into the kitchen, and emerged with a bowl of scrumptious Cherry Garcia Ice Cream . . . with a pickle on the side.

How adorable is that?

(I totally dipped the pickle in the ice cream and ate it. It was delicious.)


thumpity-thump, little rabbits

We saw heartbeats last week, fluttering away.  Our doctor says that after you see the heartbeat, there’s an 85% chance of a totally normal, healthy continuing pregnancy.  Those are much better odds than we had for getting pregnant in the first place, so I’m going to cling to them and try to relax a little.

Morning sickness has set in, though I suspect it’s related to the whey protein shake I drink every morning, or maybe the folic acid I take with the shake.  It lasts for about three or four hours, then suddenly lifts.

Mr. Malaprop is convinced that I am starting to show.

I wish I could be more eloquent, but I was so exhausted on Thursday and Friday that I got no work done.  Hence I have a great deal to make up today.

Well, I can’t say it was entirely unexpected.

Twins. Just yolk sacs at 5 weeks, 4 days today, but we’ll do another ultrasound to find heartbeats next week.

New pregnancy symptom: shortness of breath. Of course, that might just be the shock.

I’d rather vomit, please.

Today is the first day I actually feel pregnant. I freaked out on Mr. Malaprop this morning when he woke me up too early because he was having a computer issue he wanted me to fix. Then, when he (justifiably) got angry at me for stomping around and yelling, I burst into tears and decided he was going to leave me and I would have to crawl back to my parents’ house in New England, pregnant and alone. At that point he realized I was being hormonal, and hugged me and petted me until I calmed down. Now I am at work, feeling subdued and embarrassed. And pregnant.

Honestly, I’d prefer morning sickness to mood swings. But given my moody history, I suppose I should have anticipated this.

And the winner is . . .


The blood test was Friday morning. The clinic called at 2:30 pm. My HCG beta was 1106. I am pregnant.

No, wait, let me re-phrase that:

I AM PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We find out on Friday whether we’re carrying twins.

Now if only someone could fast forward the next two months, so I could stop panicking about the possibility of miscarriage.

Doctor knows best.

I haven’t had occasion to discuss this yet here, but I have a big issue with the over-medicalization of women’s bodies, pregnancy, and birth. I know this sounds odd – even to me – considering all the medical madness I’m going through in order to get pregnant. But I firmly believe that women need to thoroughly educate themselves, and advocate for themselves in situations where doctors and other medical professionals tend to charge forward without explaining or asking permission.

I mention this mainly to contextualize something an anesthesiologist said to me yesterday (in a non-medical setting).

“Epidurals are great because they numb you from the waist down, so instead of sweating and screaming in pain you can cooperate with the doctors and do what you’re told.”

I bit my tongue – had to, because the man’s a client at my law firm – but seriously? Do what you’re told?

Oh! (ss)

Ha ha! Nice one, universe.

At the end of a scheduling phone call to the clinic, it occurred to me to mention the incredible bloating and discomfort. “Oh!” said the study coordinator, grabbing a calendar and counting rapidly. “That’s very exciting!”

Not the word I was expecting, I thought. Out loud I asked, “Really? Why?”

“Because it means you’re probably hyperstimulating.”

“Um, isn’t that a bad thing?”

“Well, yes, but since your symptoms didn’t start until almost a week after your embryo transfer, it might very well mean you’re pregnant.”

Apparently, OHSS is caused by HCG, the pregnancy hormone. Some women who get it, get it from the HCG trigger shot they give right before you ovulate. But other women develop it when their own bodies begin producing HCG in pregnancy.

I asked cautiously, “Should I get excited? Because I don’t want to get excited if I’m going to be wrong.”

“I think you can get excited.”

So, don’t tell anyone. But I’m excited.

I am also drinking three liters of Gatorade and water each day in order to prevent myself from popping or going into organ failure or something unpleasant like that.

Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome

I might pop.

I can only assume that my current state is related to either 1) the IVF, 2) pregnancy, or 3) having somehow unknowingly swallowed a whole pumpkin, stem and all.

Which is to say, I have been gassy and bloated for the last four days or so. Beyond anything I’ve ever experienced. It hurts to take a deep breath, it hurts to walk or sit or move in any way, and it hurts to roll over in my sleep. I have, of course, decided that this means I’m pregnant (though I have not completely ruled out the pumpkin theory). So I called my mother to ask her opinion.

My mother didn’t figure out that she was pregnant with me until she was six months along. Any time I’ve asked her about (possible) pregnancy symptoms, she’s shrugged and said she didn’t have any symptoms other than heartburn. But when I mentioned the Bloat, she got a little excited. As it turns out, gas and bloat similar to what I’m experiencing are what finally got her to go to a doctor. Who misdiagnosed her as having an ulcer, but that’s not the point. The point is, woo hoo! Maybe.

Update: Internet says gas and bloating are caused by increased progesterone levels.  I’m taking 600 mg of progesterone suppositories daily.  So much for the pregnancy symptom theory.

The two week wait blows.

Today is day 6 of 14.  That is all.

Seven Dwarves of IVF








I tried to illustrate them, but I wasn’t very successful.

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