oh help

so they delayed my period so we’d be safe to go to hawaii. and now it’s not coming back. and i’m not pregnant. and i will be eliminated from this clinical trial if it doesn’t come back today or tomorrow. which means i would not get the free ivf cycle. we can’t afford ivf.

i’m taking blue cohosh, false unicorn root, dong quai, and drinking a tea made of parsley, ginger, and basil. i have also put some sprigs of parsley inside my vagina as a pessary. all of these things are supposed to be emmenagogues – herbs to bring on a delayed period – but nothing’s happening.

i’m so fucking scared and sad.

Edit: Let’s just add to this the news that my best friend’s mother, who has been like a second mother to me since I was nine years old, is going into hospice care for her  metastasized breast cancer.

Fuck.

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